I told myself I wasn’t going to blog about this issue but the more I thought about it the more I felt obligated.
What we’ve witnessed is a man protected by his prowess to get away with an unforgivable act—taking no, or at best little action against domestic violence and then lying about it on a national stage.
I get it, though. Why would a man in his position with so much power tell the truth? He has nothing to gain and everything to lose. Wrong. Urban Meyer might think by telling the truth he’ll lose everything he’s built—his home, his car, his family, his entire football profile. But the most important thing a man can build is his character. And he certainly has destroyed that.
See, in my opinion at least, I would have loved to see Meyer take this situation head on. Admit to the crime, apologize to Courtney Smith, and then apologize to Ohio State for keeping Zach Smiths history tucked away in his pocket. And after admitting such wrong doing, resign and move on.
Here’s the thing, if that had happened the articles being written wouldn’t be about his blatant lies and complete misuse of the situation—they’d be talking about his strength to stand up and take the blame, and then his even stronger stance against domestic violence. Finding another job wouldn’t even be an issue.
I won’t go into detail about everything Meyer lied about and what he did or didn’t do because you’ve already seen it. The articles are out there. But one thing that irked me the most is the stance people defending him took.
“There’s no evidence this ever happened.”
“There wasn’t a report and Smith wasn’t charged so it was all a lie.”
Let me tell you a story I haven’t told many people. And please be aware, this isn’t easy for me to tell.
When I was younger, I’d say around 2nd or 3rd grade, my mother was married to a man I despised. He despised me too and for reasons to this day I don’t understand. But either way, the feeling was mutual and there weren’t many good moments we shared.
One night we sat down for “family” night and I picked a movie to watch called “Higher Learning.” It was probably a bit too intense for a kid like myself, but I had already seen it with my cousins and I wanted to share it with my mother. I really didn’t care if my step father saw it but he was there and I couldn’t get rid of him.
He had no clue what the movie was about. But once he found out he lit up with fury and took it out on my mother. It wasn’t that the movie was too violent. It was, for lack of better words, his racial indifference.
As they fought back and forth on whether we should watch the movie or not, he decided he wanted to be a tough guy and put the movie in anyways, as if trying to prove a point. My mother standing as tall as she could against his 6’5” frame and 250 pound build told him no. If he didn’t want to see the movie she didn’t want to ruin it with his snide and racial comments. She raised me a certain way, to never see color and only to see people for who they are. No chance she was willing to ruin that.
But as tall as she stood he still smacked her right back down. And not with his hand, with the remote control and damn near left her unconscious. At this point I’m terrified, but what the heck was I going to do against this giant? Nothing. I could do absolutely nothing.
The police were never called and there were no charges filed. The only thing left from this whole debacle was a terrified kid and a mother with a black eye. She barely left the house because she didn’t want people taking notice and asking questions. There were even a few weeks she missed my basketball games because she didn’t want to go out in public. She never missed my games. And that hurt. More than anyone can know.
So, I don’t want to hear this “there’s no evidence it ever happened” or “there wasn’t a police report and Smith wasn’t charged” bull crap. I’ve been there. I’ve lived the fear and I’ve seen my mother get abused. Things aren’t always black and white, there is gray, and sometimes that gray area is the scariest of them all.
The fact is, Urban Meyer shouldn’t be coaching Ohio State anymore. And Zach Smith should never be allowed to step on a football field again. You’ll never be able to convince me otherwise.
And at the end of the day, this whole situation isn’t about Meyer lying or Smith being a drunk, drug addict and porn enthusiast. It’s about domestic violence. It’s about Courtney Smith.
I feel for her, and since Ohio State and Urban Meyer wont’ do it I’ll do it for them…
“Courtney, I apologize you had to go through this. There isn’t woman in the world that deserves to get beat down and mentally destroyed by the man she loves most. And if I have any words for you it’s to stay strong, accept support and surround yourself with loved ones as often as you can.”
I hope she does just that. And I hope one day she can feel free from the pain she’s felt for so long.
Regardless of how this was handled and who was effected, this needs to stop. Domestic violence is a cancer in the world of power and money. No more mulligans. No more forgiveness. Until the guilty man finally stands up and takes the rightful blame, all involved should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.