Yesterday was a dark day to be a Jayhawk fan. On Monday afternoon, text messages between Bill Self and T.J. Gassnola were given as evidence in the college hoops corruption trial. Although there was nothing too incriminating, it is now obvious that Self and Townsend at least knew of T.J.’s involvement with the recruiting process of Silvio DeSousa. When the news broke, all of KU’s rival schools and fellow conference schools got their twitter fingers ready. Here is how I imagine each Big Twelve fan base reacting to the news.
Kansas State: SOMEBODY CALL BILL SNYDER BECAUSE HE ISN’T OUR ONLY HOPE ANYMORE. KANSAS IS GUILTY LOCK BILL SELF UP! Also, I still hate that Harry Potter school from the elite eight. Oh, and honey can you please go milk the cows for me I need to tweet about this before tending to farm.
TCU: Ribbit, our horned frogs just got horny.
Baylor: Well, we now at least have somewhat of an excuse every time Scott Drew gets horribly embarrassed by Bill Self.
Oklahoma State: Hey, welcome to the club guys have a seat! Oh, also do you remember that time Marcus Smart did a back flip on your home court? Yeah, sorry about that but we’re in a gang now so let’s forget about those days.
Iowa State: WHERE IN THE HELL IS FRED HOIBERG
Texas Tech: As long as the FBI don’t take away my second amendment rights I’m all good.
West Virginia: EUSTACE GET THE KIDS OUT OF THE MINE THE FEDS FINALLY GOT BILLY WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO WIN BY DEFAULT. THE FOUL MARGIN WAS 35 TO 2 ALLEN FIELDHOUSE IS RIGGED THE REFEREES ARE IN ON THE SCHEME WE DON’T FOUL EVER. Also, can somebody teach me how to read this article?
Texas: The eyes of the ranger are upon Lawrence, man.
Oklahoma: I swear we didn’t pay Buddy Hield.
KU fans: Well, this looks bad but we’ll use our rational thinking and let the experts handle this out.
In dark times, we all could use a laugh. To any other fan base reading this, this is parody writing. Relax. Rock Chalk Jayhawk