Rise and shine, Jayhawk fans it’s another Saturday filled with football, tailgating and, well, misery if you’re a Kansas football fan. This Saturday we see the horny frogs of TCU come into Lawrence with what sets up to be a marquee matchup that I’m sure will raise the ratings on Fox Sports One. Here are my five predictions for today’s game:
- Peyton Bender will not come off the field: At this point, I’m not entirely sure what Carter Stanley has to do in order to earn some playing time. I think a start would be eliminating the United States’ debt as well as curing cancer. If he can achieve those two feats by 3:00 eastern time, he might get one snap in. It’s an ironic twist that the quarterback that earned David Beaty his sole Big 12 win is the one he hates with a blinding passion. On a side note Peyton Bender is about as mobile as those old ladies in the Life Alert commercials. Every time he gets sacked because our offensive line can’t block, I’m almost positive he’s getting closer and closer to screaming “HELP I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP.”
- Punter Kyle Thompson earns the MVP award: It’s no secret that Kyle Thompson has been put to good use this year mainly because, well, we need to punt on 99 percent of our offensive possessions. Coming into today’s game, he’s racked up 2007 total yards on punts, which reminds me of the glorious 2007-2008 season. Can we please go back? I miss our buffet destroying coach Mark Mangino. Fire beaty
- Kansas keeps the game competitive: This is a game that I honestly think Kansas can keep competitive, at least for a while. This TCU team sits at a 3-4 record, and just a 1-3 record in Big 12 play. I expect Pooka Williams to continue to be a Lousianimal and make several big plays, and if our defense can force a few turnovers like they’ve done all year, I expect Kansas to be within a touchdown or two heading into the half. This TCU team came into the season positioned at number 16 in the preseason AP poll, and has had a disappointing year. TCU also will be starting backup quarterback Michael Collins, furthering the Jayhawks’ chances at creating turnovers.
- Pooka Williams’ Dad will be the twitter star of the day: Last time Pooka’s father came to Lawrence, he was the tailgate star of the day. With tweets surfacing that a Kansas fan asked him if he wanted something to mix his tito’s vodka in his cup with, and his reply being “yes, my lips”, this man is a damn legend. Expect more stories like this and a warm welcome to the man that fathered Kansas’ beast of a running back.
- Fourth down timeouts will be plentiful: It’s becoming a weekly tradition for David Beaty to incompetently run down the play clock on fourth down, only to call timeout and punt which is what he planned to do anyway. I have no clue what the intention of this man is when he does this, but it’s entertaining none the less. Wasting time outs is what he likes to call a “Neat deal!” and I look forward to seeing this happen again today (sorta).