A Journey Back: Week 1

DISCLAIMER: This is not a blog about KU or football, it’s about my personal life. I hope you enjoy.

Give all of us gathered here tonight the strength to remember that life is so very fragile. We are all vulnerable, and we will all, at some point in our lives… fall. We will all fall. We must carry this in our hearts… that what we have is special. That it can be taken from us, and when it is taken from us, we will be tested. We will be tested to our very souls. We will now all be tested. It is these times, it is this pain, that allows us to look inside ourselves.

– Coach Eric Taylor

This is a quote from one of my favorite TV shows, ‘Friday Night Lights’. Although the quote doesn’t directly apply to me or my situation, it does hold a very important and meaningful message. At some point in our lives we will be knocked down, and in that very moment we will be faced with a choice. A choice that could leave us crippled forever, or a choice that could bring us from lost and hopeless to strong and victorious. Everyone has different battles they face in their lives, some harder than others, but it is nonetheless a battle that must be fought, and if overcame will follow you throughout the rest of your life strengthening every quality you possess.

My battle at this moment in my life is my health and my weight. There was a time in my life, two years ago to be exact, that I was in the best shape of my life. I felt incredible and I felt confident that I could conquer anything put in front of me. My successes in the gym didn’t just stay in the gym, they followed me every day and reflected on my relationships and my job. I was happy, and I was strong.

But I fell into a pit and I lost control of my life. I got lazy and I started to eat and drink to fill the void I was missing from working out and eating healthy. And once I lost control, I let food control me. I was stuck and I didn’t realize until today, when I stepped on the scale for the first time in two years, that it was this bad.

Two years ago today I weighed 189 pounds, and today I weighed in at 233 pounds. That means I’ve gained 44 pounds in as little as two years. This is how quickly we can lose control. One moment your confident, happy, and victorious, and then the next you’re sad, depressed, and defeated. But I will not allow myself to be defeated. Not today, not ever.

I’m not going to label this my weight loss journey because it’s not just about that. This is my journey to gain back control of my life.

And this isn’t going to be a diet, this is going to be a lifestyle change. From now until March Madness (March 15th) I will be eating all natural. And by this I mean mostly fruits and vegetables, with a healthy mix of chicken, fish, eggs, rice, quinoa, and nuts. I’ll also be giving a weekly update on my progress via this blog so everyone can see where I’m at with my physical health, mental health, and weight.

After I reach this goal I plan to eat like this for good, but the reality is I’ll eventually have to reward myself occasionally. Maybe I’ll have some chocolate or a donut, or maybe even chipotle, but those moments and rewards will not define me. What will define me is my victories and my ability to gain back control of my life.

I understand that not everyone needs help overcoming a difficult obstacle, but those that do I hope this journey of mine helps you in some way.

I’ll finish this post with a quote from one of the strongest icons in the sports world, Jim Valvano late college basketball coach for North Carolina State who fought cancer and eventually passed away, but conquered and won the ultimate battle of life.

Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.
-Jim Valvano

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